Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Plan 9 from Outer Space, the remake?

This sounds like a bad joke. Perhaps it is. If it is a practical joke it's done in very poor taste. But you be the judge. According to this site: "director John Johnson - along with his production company, Darkstone Entertainment - is poised to remake the classic film <…> the remake will be a serious-minded retelling of the original story, paying homage to the spirit of Wood's film without resorting to camp or parody."

So they're going to remake it without any of the camp or any attempt at humor? I suppose the best pitch you could give for this would be that the remake couldn't possibly be any worse that the original. But isn't that really the only reason anyone watches PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE?

Why mention this at all? Because technically PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE qualifies as Cosmic Cinema. There is, however silly, a science-fiction element within this farce of a horror movie. After all it is about aliens invading the earth who animate corpses to create an army of the undead to take over the world. Okay, so there's only like two, maybe three, people actually playing corpses. Sure the budget was non-existent and the graveyard was made of cardboard, the acting wooden, and the movie so utterly awful it's best viewed as a parody.

I had the following to say at Mise-en-scene Crypt when I first heard an RED DAWN remake had been announced. -

"If there was ever any doubt that Hollywood has become a great big Xerox machine left on auto then the fact rumors coming out of Cannes about a re-make of RED DAWN being considered should be proof positive. <…> Alas, according to a blurb here, RED DAWN and ROBOCOP have been added to the long list of movies Hollywood's "green" recycling machine may be about to regurgitate onto some poor unsuspecting audience." (Full article here.)

But what can one say when they hear a movie heralded as not just bad but the worst movie of all time is getting the remake treatment?

Well if it was from a mainstream Hollywood studio I'd probably say something really harsh like, oh, maybe the suits in charge should claim their Darwin Awards forthwith and exit stage left. Luckily Hollywood, or at least mainstream Hollywood, does not appear to have anything to do with this. . this. .

Actually who are these people? I've never heard of either the director or production company. That's enough to make a person wonder if this is part of some cosmic Internet prank. I mean the idea of doing a 'serious' remake of PLAN 9 "not bound by the technological limitations placed on filmmakers 50 years ago" (code for "we'll be using the cheapest CGI money can buy") boggles the mind.

Seriously words fail me.

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